A modest proposal: splendid gunfire

Dear True,

What is all the concern about the Coast Guard opening fire off Grand Marais? To me this represents a great opportunity for our community. I think it could be a wonderful tourist draw. We should certainly meet with them, but only to show our support and to ask them to bring it in as close to shore as possible. It should be set up right outside the harbor entrance. That way everyone can watch from the breakwalls or, from the boats in the new marina.

We should also be lobbying them to station some real Coast Guard boats in Grand Marais. There should be at least one or two Coastal Patrol Boats involved, not just for national security, but for the fire power they would bring to the firing exercises. The bigger the boat, the bigger the guns, the louder the explosions and the better the show! We should ask for at least one WPC and one WPB.

I am sure that even if we get the 200 slip marina we deserve, we can still handle a couple real patrol boats. With the new marina we’ve been told we will get rid of the yacht club, and one boat can be parked there and, I think, the DNR or the mayor said the boats tied up in the harbor will go too, so the other could anchor there.

It would be a win – win for the town and the harbor. Between the Coast Guard and the new marina we are getting, the harbor would be full of boats, which would really bring the tourists because where else could they see such a variety of, and so many boats in such a small space? And the near shore firing range would be a bonus attraction. Night firing would be particularly beneficial to the tourist trade and what a North Shore close to nature experience!

Granted, the commercial fishing would have to go, and the sport fishing too, but the city would still be ahead. The only thing we would want to worry about is the water skipping by the local snowmobile club. To the mayor that seems destined to be a big part of our city’s future, so we wouldn’t want to mess with it too much. The dragon boats can probably move to Hovland along with the kayaks and the birders.

Commence Firing!

Am I the only one who has thought this through?

Another friend.